Cuddling. Is It Sex?

To cuddle or not to cuddle.  That is the question.  If ever there was a boundary declaration amongst couples, this would be one.   How to read the signs?  Sex expert Miriam Baker is here to interpret the physical and emotional signs and limitations of cuddling as it relates to S.E.X.  

I had a very interesting conversation at a party this weekend about cuddling.

The debate was to cuddle or not, and is it related to sex?

Many patients bring this up in couples therapy.

The differences in perception are interesting.

Everyone has a history with cuddling from childhood on.

Cuddling may be for some just a form of affection and means to soothing.

For others it feels intrusive and suffocating.

What worked in childhood may not work in adulthood.

The idea of spooning or cuddling at bedtime may not be right for everyone.

Your personal style of cuddling may be the most important behavior to explain to your partner.

Holding hands or intertwining bodies can be on the spectrum of cuddling styles.

Science tells us that after sex the window for a cuddle may be short for some because of the refractory period.

This is not a very negotiable experience as personal boundaries related to ‘after sex’ are primitive.

Cuddling is a behavior separate from the sexual experience unless you use cuddling as a way to initiate sex.

Cuddling therefore, is not sex so be careful if it becomes a part of the prelude to sex to make sure there is agreement and dialogue.

If cuddling is primitive to you and you like it as a way to fall asleep you may be upset if your partner needs space instead.

This is not rejection or fear of closeness or about sex but rather, it is about personal space.

Making time for cuddling is an important experience in any relationship, but it’s all about timing.

Being cuddled during the playoffs may feel wrong for you.

The wish to cuddle your iPad on the couch after a horrible day does not mean you do not love your partner.

The take home here is about respecting boundaries in a relationship and working hard to not use unspoken messaging.

Be clear: how do you feel about and what are your cuddling needs?

Making time to cuddle like time for sex feels good if it is conflict free.




fifty-one comments

  • Comment Link Friday, 27 November 2015 19:59 posted by AnthonyMi
  • Comment Link Wednesday, 22 July 2015 02:38 posted by pred
    great points altogether, you simply won a logo new reader.

    What would you suggest in regards to your post that you simply made some days in the
    past? Any positive?
  • Comment Link Thursday, 16 July 2015 16:15 posted by canadian pharmacy
    What's Going down i am new to this, I stumbled
    upon this I've discovered It absolutely helpful and it has aided me out
    loads. I'm hoping to contribute & help other customers like its helped me.
    Great job.
  • Comment Link Tuesday, 14 July 2015 15:42 posted by canadian pharmacy
    Everyone loves what you guys tend to be up too.
    This kind of clever work and reporting! Keep up the terrific works guys I've included you
    guys to my personal blogroll.
  • Comment Link Saturday, 04 July 2015 11:07 posted by cialis
    It's actually a great and useful piece of information. I'm happy that
    you simply shared this helpful info with us.
    Please keep us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.
  • Comment Link Saturday, 20 June 2015 11:50 posted by canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
    Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I'm impressed!
    Very hhelpful info specially thhe last part :) I care for such information much.
    I was seeking this particular info for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.
  • Comment Link Saturday, 20 June 2015 11:14 posted by canadian pharmacies shipping to usa
    After I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked
    the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on whenever a comment
    is added I recieve four emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is a way you are able to remove me from that service?
    Many thanks!
  • Comment Link Friday, 19 June 2015 11:21 posted by canadian online pharmacy
    I am genuinely thankful to the holder of this web page who has shared this fantastic post at here.
  • Comment Link Saturday, 13 June 2015 18:17 posted by prednisone
    Thanks , I've recently been searching for info approximately this topic for a while and yours is the greatest
    I have discovered so far. But, what about the bottom line?

    Are you sure in regards to the source?
  • Comment Link Friday, 05 June 2015 08:57 posted by endtimes
    Great website you have here but I was curious if you knew of any discussion boards that cover the same topics discussed in this article?

    I'd really like to be a part of online community where I can get feed-back
    from other knowledgeable people that share the
    same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Leave a comment

Make sure you enter the (*) required information where indicated. HTML code is not allowed.