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Overstaying their welcome at bedtime...

What's that old adage about a guest overstaying his or  her welcome starting to stink like a rotten fish?  Relationship expert Nyiri Grigorian takes an overdue look at the syndrome.  Whether it's the kid that doesn't leave the playdate or the relatives that stay too long, the date that wouldn't leave or the last man at the party, it's important to be clear.  C''s happened to all of us....

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It doesn’t matter if it’s friends, family, play dates or just company; people who over stay their welcome create a universal problem.


The universal problem is the negotiation of difference in time assessment.


The way you feel about time may be completely paradoxical to the way your best friend senses time.

Your children may be able to maintain energy and focus longer than their play dates can, or the other way around.


A date may linger long after you have started yawning.

Family may be important for occasions but bedtime is calling.

When guests leave there is often stuff still to do before bedtime.

Submerging your own sense of time will create resentment and frustration.

Ironically it may be the guests that feel bad about leaving too soon at the same time you are wishing they would go.


When it comes to kids, stop the play date on an up note, before fatigue and irritability sets in.


When it’s adults there is one simple rule.

Make your needs and time limits known in advance.

When plans are being organized remain clear that you have until a certain time and make sure there is dialogue that goes along with this in the form of acknowledgment.

Saying you have an early morning the following day safeguards the sense of rejection.

Explaining that you, “know your kid,” and, that they have a window before fatigue turns to aggression is appropriate and helpful.


And when it comes to family, let them off the hook by sending them on their way with something to take home.